I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
