Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
