he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
