I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
