What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
