Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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