Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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