I want to make a zoo with you.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
