Do you still have your period?
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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