Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Small penises have feelings too.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
