my sisters under your porch take her home
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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