My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
