but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Randomize