my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
