what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
