i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Dick very happy bro
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
