My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
