What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
