did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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