I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
