Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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