By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
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