I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
