As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
