if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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