"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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