Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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