one might say we're banned from that church
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize