im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Me. At least after what I've been through.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
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