I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
