I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
