When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize