Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
