I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
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