I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I need to stop coming to work sober
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
