Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Is it because I queefed?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
