Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
