We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
