Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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