I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
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