I need help removing her.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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