Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Randomize
