discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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