I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
He keeps bees of course he's weird
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
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