shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
another moral hangover. fuck.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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