worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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