There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
