I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize