Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I could fuck to npr.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
