chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
