the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
