Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
