I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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