OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
