dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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