Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize