No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
it's like heaven, but drunker
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
