so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
and you said cock pushups were impossible
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
