your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
