I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
