she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
