Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Randomize
