Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
