i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
