Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Randomize
