with your own penis?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize