im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
