Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
i would one night stand the shit outta him
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize