This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
