my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
fuck your aforementioned shoe
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
